is that they’re very forgiving of their parents’ mistakes. They’ll let most things slide, if it means they can go back to being a happy family. If a child doesn’t forgive a mistake, either the mistake was of exceptional magnitude, or – more likely – the path to forgiveness isn’t clear.
Yes, though forgiveness comes naturally to children, it does need to travel a path. The child decides the nature of the path, how long it is, and what emotions it connects to. The parent can’t prescribe the path, only encourage its sprawling possibilities.
So, if you have a kid who resents you for a mistake you made in the past, it’s probably not strictly about that mistake. If it were, you’d be forgiven already. Kids are cool like that.
No, it’s about what happened after the mistake. For whatever reason, the child wasn’t free to discover their own manner of forgiving it. Perhaps they were punished for expressing anger. Perhaps the mistake was too hastily swept under the rug. Perhaps there was no sufficient indication that it wouldn’t be repeated. In any case, with the path to forgiveness blocked, resentment was the child’s only remaining option.
I encourage you, the parent, to set things right and unblock the path. It can be difficult, but it can also be easy. A sincere apology might be enough. You won’t know until you try.