You need quick reflexes in hand-to-hand combat, to evade your opponent’s sudden moves and flip them to your advantage.
Interpersonal conflicts, like a couple’s quarrel, require quick reflexes as well. However, rather than securing your own advantage, you’re protecting the relationship.
With quick reflexes, we can stop ourselves from saying something vindictive. We can abandon a line of reasoning that we know leads nowhere, before it muddles the conflict. We can identify, and forgive, the wrong moves the other person makes. We can recognize the point where fear takes us over, and avoid it.
Training in reflexes is slow, but satisfying. The first time you dodge something that used to hit you – be it a punch, or an unnecessary argument with your partner – you always feel strong.